Mary Phoebe Enders Willis

She was born in Catonsville, MD on April 4, 1906 to Grace Hubner Enders and Reverend Martin Luther Enders. She had one older sister, Grace, and two younger brothers, Martin and John. She is the mother of 5 sons (Mac, John, Bill, Mark, Joe), 15 grandchildren, and 32 great grandchildren, with 2 more to come! She is also my godmother. A grand party is being held to celebrate this remarkable centenarian on April 8th at 1106 Princess Anne Street in Fredericksburg, Virginia.

Grandma went to Sargent College in Boston, MA from 1922-25 and graduated with honors. She moved to Fredericksburg and taught at Mary Washington College from 1925 until she married. She was probably 25 at the time this photo was taken. She lived in the Heflin Apartments while she was teaching and bought a blue Model "A" Ford in 1926, the 2nd car in Fredericksburg, with her modest salary of $150-200 per month. She taught physical education, basketball, calesthenics, and possibly dance. The students wore nautical middies - long shorts, sailor tops and long socks. Grandma loved to dance and said she may have pursued it as a career if she had not married.

She met Grandaddy at a dance at the Country Club and remembers she wore a white dress with diamond-like stars on it. When Grandaddy proposed to her, he brought her a Killarney Rose, which his mother Deedee (Edna Elizabeth Harris) planted and grew on the fence in the backyard at 1105 Princess Anne Street. Grandma was married to Jere Malcolm Harris Willis in Baltimore on June 20, 1931, at the First Lutheran Church by her father, the Reverend Martin Luther Enders. There was a breakfast reception afterwards to which the congregation was invited to the church building. She wore a gold satin 2-piece suit for the wedding and also for their 50th wedding anniversary in Fredericksburg, June 1981.

The newlyweds lived at 1105 Princess Anne Street with Grandaddy's parents, BP (Benjamin Powell Willis) and Deedee, before moving to 1015 Charles Street in 1933. The Willis family has occupied or owned that house ever since. When Deedee passed away in 1941, Grandma and Grandaddy moved back to 1105 Princess Anne Street to help care for BP Willis. Catesby Willis then moved to 1015 Charles Street, as she did not want to live in a home with three young boys (Mac, John and Bill). The Charles Street house was later occupied by Mark & Jo Love and Cory & Ric. Mac and Barbara Willis recently rennovated the home and now reside there.

Up until recently, Grandma has been very active reading, writing letters (and beautifully crafted ones at that!), walking to church and working in the garden. She has a fondness for chocolate and sweets and always makes sure the cookie tin is well stocked. As a child, I remember the glass elephant in the livingroom being filled with chocolate kisses, jelly beans or some other sweet, and you were always welcome to help yourself. I also remember Grandma making salmon cakes with eggs & toast for breakfast. As she put it, "they were delectable, delicious and divine". She hasn't had salmon cakes in years, but the memory of them brought her joy again. My favorite memory of Grandma is just sitting and talking with her. She always shows an interest in what you're doing and what's going on in the world, although she may not agree with it and will not hesitate to let you know! Our hats are off to you, Grandma Phoebe. May you roll into your centennial year with grace, beauty and pride.

little princesses

Stijn's sister Liselotte, husband Nils, and their two daughters Isolde (3) and Linde (1) came to see us in Tervuren last weekend. The kids had a blast, changing dress-up clothes 4 or 5 times and having a make-believe marriage, with Thijs as the handsom groom and Phoebe as the lovely bride. You can tell they're already thinking about the wedding of uncle Thomas and Lucie in Tchechie this summer! At any rate, the cousins were happy and we were thorougly entertained. Oma and Opa Verschuuren stayed with us Sunday, following an emergency visit to see Harry's brother Piet, who was in the hospital with respiratory problems.

This is the first time in 18 years that we're living in such close proximity to family, with the exception of Gainesville, Florida, where we first met. Stijn's oldest brother and sister live just 2 h away in Holland, and his youngest brother and parents live 7 h away in Switzerland. It's too far for spontaneous visits, but at least we're able to get together more often and more easily (12 times in past 8 months). One of the reasons we moved to Europe was to live closer to Stijn's family and see them more often. So far, we're off to a good start!

phoebe's tekening

Whoever can tell me where this photo was taken will get a big hug from me! 

that'll do pig

Hearing Trish's bird story reminded me of a rare moment we shared in the woods. Trish and I used to study little brown birds called Acadian Flycatchers in a ravine near Ravenna, Ohio. Trish collected their poop so she could identify what insects had been eaten. The adults dropped the poop from their nestlings in the same vicinity every day, so the poop was generally easy to find.

However, finding enough poop was another story. We needed about 20 per nest to get a decent picture of the bird's diet. On one particularly grueling day, when our backs were breaking from all the collecting and neither of us had much to say, I remember standing up and uttering the words, "That'll do pig". Of course this caught her by surprise and she looked up at me with a look of disgust on her face. But after seeing the movie "Babe", she came to appreciate the significance of the words and the compliment I'd given her. We didn't make the news that day, but we did get a good laugh out of it.

Another good laugh concerns my former student Rob Adair (http://antennaehead.blogspot.com) who parked his car next to a culvert along a very steep bank and got stuck. We tried and tried to push it out, but it was no use - the car wouldn't budge! Then Rob's dad showed up in an oversized pickup truck, and the first words out of his mouth were, "Rob, take off the parking brake". We couldn't stop laughing for days and still it brings a smile to my face when I think of my absent-minded friend.

Sharing a passion for things that fly

I began this blog by acknowl- edging what I left behind. It's only fitting that my final post on this topic concerns what I'm most passionate about in life - things that FLY! But this blog is not for the birds or bugs. It's for my bird/bug/bat friends, like Trish and Shawn in photo (former students of mine), who've left an indelible mark on my life.

It all started with my parents. During family vacations they used to point out the hawks as we drove down the road, as well as other birds. We never needed a field guide or pair of binoculars - it was enough just to see the birds and enjoy them. Our house had plenty of bird art as my parents were fond of John James Audubon and Mark Catesby. They also fed the birds and ate a few since my father was a hunter. They appreciated the beauty and joy birds bring to the world, and it rubbed off on me.

Laurence Alexander, the teaching assistant for my ornithology course at the University of Florida, was my first bird mentor -- my first bird friend. After watching 400 Common Loons die along the Gulf Coast in one season, he began studying them to find out what was the problem. He took me under his wing and showed me how to identify and study birds through an independent research project. He converted my appreciation into an addiction. All of a sudden I had to have binoculars, field guides, quality raingear, equipment! It wasn't just for fun anymore - this was real! I'd joined the ranks of amateur birders and would soon be trekking around the world to count birds, study their behavior, collect their poop, get lost in the Alaskan tundra, you name it.

Now, almost 20 years later, I'm still as crazy as ever about birds and about my bird-friendly friends whom I've met along the way. There's one thing that we share, and it's like a disease. It makes you speak a different language filled with wierd-sounding names, sing funny-sounding songs ("quick, three beers" says the olive-sided flycatcher), do funny-looking dances to imitate the mating displays of your favorite birds, stay up late doing research on the internet, write blogs!, and so on ... And then there's the hardship that you're willing to endure just to catch a glimpse of a rare bird or behavior. Birder's neck refers to the excrutiating pain you feel when your neck feels like it's going to snap off from sitting in the same position too long. Biting insects are to be expected too, esp. when a rare bird shows up and you have to sit still long enough to identify it. And occasionally, a tree falling closeby or a lightning strike right above your head will bring you back to earth and remind you not to take it all so seriously.

So keep your stories coming, my bird/bug/bat friends -- it's music to my ears and it re-energizes my chi. Learning is never the same without a friend to share it with!

Finally, a NEST!

After walking 800 steps to Tervuren Park, what did I spy but a pair of Great Crested Grebes building a nest! Actually, it looked more like they were prospecting for a nest, or shopping for sites that might be suitable for egg-rearing. But at any rate, it means they're getting closer! One of the birds placed a bit of wet vegetaton on an exposed limb, and only time will tell if that will be the location they ultimately choose. The nest will consist of a platform of marshy plants, like the one shown in the photo.

Across the lake was another pair of GCG engaged in a bout of courtship display. They didn't seem as far along as the first pair. Their displays didn't last as long and their movements weren't as well synchronized. Sometimes the male would turn his head as if to preen his back, but the female only imitated this movement 1/4 times. Maybe she just wasn't in the mood. It will be interesting to see if both pairs nest successfully on the same pond.

The fourth pair of GCG were actively involved in nest-building, and didn't mind that I was watching from < 50 m away. The male dove underwater and pulled up marshy plants to toss on the nest. The female waited patiently near the nest, sometimes collecting little bits if she didn't have to swim too far. Her main job was to rearrange the material as to her liking. There definitely was a division of labor, and it reminded me of how Stijn and I do the laundry!

The final count gave 5 pairs of grebes and 3 unmated males. With little shoreline development along the lakes, it will be possible to get picture-perfect views of the nesting behavior of these magnificent waterbirds. Sounds like a perfect opportunity for picnics in the park w/ the digiscope all set up and ready to go. Oh, and don't forget the kids! 

little friends

Mill Creek Metropark was just 100 footsteps from our home in Boardman. It's Ohio's oldest + biggest city park and it's a real treasure. I have fond memories of walking or cycling around Lake Newport w/ family, friends and my dog Roger. We also canoed on the lake and spent many hours in the park exploring trails to see what we could find. It was the best education for the kids & it was FREE!

But what I miss most about the park in particular, and Ohio in general, are my little winged friends that would greet me with their beautiful songs and calls and talk to me in a language that I understood. The cardinal's "birdy, birdy, birdy", the titmouse's "peter, peter, peter", the black-capped chickadee's "chick-a-dee-dee-dee", and the barred owl's "who cooks for you, who cooks for you-ahhhhhhh"are all phrases that made me feel at home. The kids loved to hear them too, and it made them feel like they had little friends in the forest.

Now, I'm not only learning Dutch but also a whole new language of European bird songs and calls, and how to identify the birds too. Many of the species are different. There are no cardinals, no ruby-throated hummingbirds, no vultures, no wood ducks, no hooded mergansers - unless one of these birds happens to wander way off course, which happens from time to time. But to compensate, there are tons of TITS! Six types of tits visit my backyard bird feeder: great tits, crested tits, coal tits, long-tailed tits, blue tits, and marsh tits. They're brilliant little creatures and much more colorful than tits in North America, and they're a joy to watch as they struggle to pull peanuts out of shells.

Tervuren Park is just 800 footsteps from our home, and it's where I go when I need some time with my little winged friends. There are no wood ducks, but today I saw another tree-nesting duck that's not native to Europe, and it about knocked my socks off! When the male flew by with its orange head and white teardrop eye, I knew exactly what it was - a Mandarin Duck! After the pair landed about 150 m away, I found them perched in trees, exactly where you'd expect tree-nesting ducks to hang out. As I was watching the Mandarin pair preen, who happened to swim into binocular view, but a pair of Great Crested Grebes! These are magnificent duck-like birds with long, skinny necks and spectacular head ornaments. When the male gets excited, it's something to behold. His head plumes raise up like a pair of black horns and mane surrounding his neck! The pair then entered into a courtship display, where the male and female imitate each others gestures in what would be considered a mating dance. It didn't result in a mating, but just watching them dance was enough excitement for this old birder.

After getting to know some of the birds here, I'm beginning to feel much more at home. Now when I go for a walk, I'm never alone. There's always some little friend talking to me, if only I make time to listen.

Women in Science & Engineering career day

Life is about fostering relation- ships. A huge part of what I left behind includes the relation- ships I built with students, colleagues, advisors, staff and professional contacts, not to mention a fulfilling career as an assistant professor at Youngstown State University. An event I looked forward to with great anticipation each year was the Women in Science and Engineering (WISE) career day http://www.ysu.edu/WIS, which I helped produce and organize (1998-2005). As a result, > 1000 middle school and high school girls have been exposed to career opportunities in science and engineering through panel discussions and hands-on lab demonstrations. It was an incredibly rewarding experience and one that I miss being a part of.

Shown here are 6 of the 30+ volunteers who were involved in the 2005 workshop. From the right: Anna S.K. (moderator), Trish G. (moderator), Sherona G. (chaperone), LaTisha W. in front (chaperone), Lashale P. (panelist), Lenka F. (keynote speaker), and me. Lashale and Lenka were involved in a big way since day one, and Trish wasn't far behind. Not shown is Dr. Diana Fagan, who also helped organize the workshop, and who is now the director of the WISE career day (coming soon ... March 25th!) as well as the WIS program. I owe a great deal of thanks for her dedication and support, as well as to all of the volunteers. It was a lot of work but we always had a good time.

The workshop developed a real following. Many of the female scientists and engineers who spoke as panelists returned every year because they enjoyed interacting with students and networking with professionals. Listening to stories about how they navigated their careers and dealt with transitions in their lives only empowered me to embrace the transition that needed to occur in my life (see Feb. archive, post #3). How ironic is it that a program I designed to help others also helped me in the end? Hats off to all of you - you're doing a splendid job!

girlfriends at last

There was no shortage of fun, adult parties in the Forest Glen, and Rochelle (left), Kelley (right) and I always made the most of them. Having too much responsibility in our lives and too much alcohol at our disposal was a recipe for female bonding (see how close Kelley is coming to my cheek?). At what other time could we be footloose and fancy-free! In a few hours, reality would strike again (kids, work, house, husband - notice order of importance, unfortunately) and we wouldn't be "free" to be ourselves anymore. So we'd make the most of it.

Why I loved hanging out with Rochelle and Kelley is because these are two powerful women, although they'd never care to admit it. Rochelle was a Carnegie Scholar (the equivalent of Yoda in the teaching world) and had way more awards, grants, papers, and presentations than I could ever muster. Ironically though, her strength comes from her vulnerability. She's one of the most sensitive people I know, and her sensitivity is what makes her a great friend and a great teacher. She cares about her students and actually listens to what they're saying, something teachers are supposed to do but don't usually get around to doing. And when you talk to her as a friend, she doesn't miss a beat. And did I mention emotional, another trait we share in common? It's a good thing we don't watch drama together -there'd be nothing left of us at the end!

Now switch gears 180 degrees, and there's Kelley - the Queen of Sarcasm! Her dry humour and witty remarks are enough to tame any dragon. I don't know where she gets it, but I'll take every dose I can get! Working as a parole officer for sex offenders may have something to do with it, although her personality and life history most definitely have had an effect as well. At any rate, the reason I miss Kelley is because she's one of the funniest people I know. Kelley would have us all rolling on the floor, with the biggest belley ache from laughing so hard. She's at her finest after a bottle of chardonnay and a bowl of microwave popcorn. After growing up my whole life with boyfriends, I'm glad to have girlfriends at last!

Roger

My blog wouldn't be complete without a story about our canine companion, Roger, who was put to sleep for medical reasons before our move. I found Roger by the library at Kent State University. He looked emaciated, smelled like the sewer, had worms, and had been abused by his former owner, judging from his submissive behavior.

After a visit to the vet, I took him home and hid him in the basement until my husband returned from work. We already had one dog and I was anxious about his reaction to dog #2. He didn't get home until after 10 pm, but I still insisted he go to the basement and see what I found that day. When he opened the door and saw Roger, it knocked him flat. But who could say no to such a handsome and snuggly character, who quickly became an integral part of the family. The kids still talk about Roger from time to time, and we all miss him very much. Thanks Roger, for a wonderful 15 years!

LAURA KAY MATARAZA

That's how I came to know her more than 15 years ago, as a graduate student with gumption who was out to make a difference in the world! I remember the first time I saw her. She was racing around the biology department at Kent State University, preparing to teach a class that she was just informed she was supposed to teach. Little has changed since then. She's still as motivated & ambitious as ever and she's still teaching, although the kids are a bit younger and they're called Max and Jackie!

Laura's sense of humor also hasn't changed, or if it has, it's just gotten better with time. In this picture (taken at Tao, NYC) she's holding a black scarf, which became known as the "snake", because it kept rolling into a tight coil, slithering around her neck and falling off. Instead of letting it bug her, Laura made that silly little scarf something we'll always remember and laugh about, just like Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City) can base an episode on a single post-it note!

What do I miss about Laura? Well, the toughest part is knowing where to begin! The roots run deep with this soul sister, that's for sure. We both survived graduate school and landed first jobs, although for Laura there were second, third, fourth and fifth jobs, too. She's the most diversified friend I know! We also both survived being bridesmaids in each others' weddings (whew!), and we've both made it past the 7 year itch - hooray! We're both born-again birders and I'm thinking we'd make a great team for a BIG YEAR (year-long birding competition) once the kids are all grown-up! I'll cover Europe & Africa if you can manage North & South America, Laura. The rest will be a snap. What do you think, mate? Lately, we're both exploring ways to express our creative nature, which gives us yet another way to grow new synapses. Our adventure in NYC was hopefully the first of many retreats to come! And lastly, above all else, there's family ... which, whenever we get together, it's like we're ONE.

But I'd have to say INSPIRATION is the thing I miss the most. Laura has energy (just see her blog http://transition2ny.blogspot.com ), ideas that she's willing to share, and gumption! ... is the psychic gasoline that keeps the whole thing going - Robert Pirsig. A teatime chat with her is like receiving a precious gift. May we have tea again soon, my friend. You're beautiful!

Mimi turns 90!

Here's my grandma Mimi (in yellow) with my mother (red) and her two sisters in Key West, Florida, celebrating Mimi's 90th birthday - in casual style! They stayed at a bed-n-breakfast and visited all the sites, including Hemingway's home and the Audubon house.

On previous occasions, Mimi and her "girls", as she calls them, vacationed in England and Bermuda, but this time they headed for the sun and surf. There's no doubt that Mimi's longevity is influenced by her healthy lifestyle (she's been doing tai chi forever), spunky personality and good genes! We'll be visiting Mimi in April, along with grandma Phoebe, who turns 100, and look forward to seeing if they can blow out their candles!

Sometimes you don't realize how good life is until you move away. That's the way it was for Alex and her closest friends, Sara and Cailin. They lived next door and were always over wanting to play. Life couldn't get any better.

That is, until sleepovers (every girls dream!), which they had plenty of. Alex will miss Cailin's spa-jama party this weekend, but I know she'd love to be there. Eat an extra piece of cake for Alex, will you please? Happy Birthday Cailin! 

jackie's competition

A stone's throw from our house lived Phoebe's closest friends - Grace, Sydney and Tres (aka Romeo). Tres would stand at the edge of our yard and call for Phoebe to come out and play. If he felt gutsy enough, he'd come to our patio and continue serenading Phoebe. Even after we moved away, Tres continued to come into our yard, apparently hoping Phoebe would come out to play, like a bird that's lost its mate.

It just goes to show that moving is hardest on those that remain behind. One of these days we look forward to a happy reunion. Don't give up on Phoebe, Tres! 

wedding!

Phoebe + Jackie - summer 2030 - destination tba 

missing boy friends

There are the leaves again (those LEAVES!), and playing in them are four little kids that were destined to grow up together and be the bestest buddies of all time (with Phoebe betrothed to Jackie, and Alex breaking Max's heart), except that their parents had to ruin it all. First we moved to Belgium, and now Laura and Paul are moving to New York.

Some things will never change though, like Phoebe being betrothed to Jackie, and Thijs asking to play with Max and Jackie as often as he asks for a peanut butter-n-jelly sandwich, which he'd eat three times a day if he could. 

There's nothing better than Handel's ice cream

The original Handel's ice cream was just blocks from our home in Boardman, Ohio and were we ever regulars. There's nothing like Handel's to cure the winter blues. The long lines were 4-season, rain or shine. Handel's - we miss you! 

Trading families

Here we are in Switzerland - sledding and snowshoeing with Oma and Opa Verschuuren! We spent the xmas holiday together and enjoyed the most beautiful snow we've seen in a long time. It was great to play in the snow every day or just look at it through the window - we couldn't get enough. Also, it was wonderful to spend time with Els and Harry in their home near Zurich, something we hadn't done since 1997!
After spending 18 years in the U.S., Stijn and I both agreed it was time to reconnect with his side of the family. Two of Stijn's 3 siblings have children (3 nieces, 1 nephew) that are close in age to ours. Now they enjoy each others company and love playing together, but if we waited much longer, that might not be the case. Plus, our kids are young enough to learn new languages easily, so the timing seemed right.

Being closer to Stijn's family, however, meant being farther away from mine, and I knew it would not be easy. I also have 3 siblings with children (7), two of which are goddaughters of ours. When they all get together for the holidays or a reunion, it makes it that much harder. But thank goodness for technology, because it melts away the distance and brings you home again, even if it's just for a moment.

So come on family - skype is just a download + headset away! Can we do it - YES we can!

A photo at last!

This was our home in Ohio - isn't it beautiful? And aren't the leaves even more beautiful! I'm still trying to get photos on my posts (normal photo icon not working, for some reason), but I really worked the system to get this photo and I hope it works!

One of my fondest memories of Fall in Ohio was the annual leaf cleanup. Athough it was a chore, the kids would quickly turn it into a game, and their fun and laughter made the work seem easier although it would tend to take 3-4 times longer, of course.

As funny as it sounds, I will always love the smell of rotting leaves!

What we left behind - part II

Controlled Chaos

That's how I used to think of our household and lifestyle before we moved, with no less than two full-time jobs (one 120 min. commute), three autos (sport, SUV, minivan), three kids, an aupair, a dog, a big house, an even bigger garden that could use a full-time gardener, kids activities, house cleaners, lawn care maintenance, exterminators, chimney sweepers (for the 4 fireplaces!), painters, and the list goes on and on ...

Our life was like a well-oiled machine, and when everything was working it was fine. No, it was awesome. What a high it was to think that we could have it all - a satisfying job, beautiful family, a healthy household. We were a SUPERfamily! Like the INCREDIBLES!

But it seemed like CHAOS would strike whenever my husband travelled (30% of the time) or one of the kids fell ill, or worse me. All of a sudden I'd realize I'm not superwoman after all, or better yet, elastigirl! It was like life was spinning out of control ....

There were too many things to manage, and I was losing my mind ... like the feeling you get when you drink too many delirium tremens (which has been around since 1654 so it's got to be good!). It was time to rethink our strategy, and a significant reduction in managerial processing was definitely in order.

Hence, the move to Belgium and the chance to start anew, with no more than 1 full-time job (short 20 min. commute), 2 autos (diesel corolla, volvo SUV), still 3 kids (thankfully), no aupair (which the kids miss, by the way), no pets, a modest villa (although big by european standards), and that's it! WHEW!

Can I finish my delirium tremens #2 now?