LAURA KAY MATARAZA

That's how I came to know her more than 15 years ago, as a graduate student with gumption who was out to make a difference in the world! I remember the first time I saw her. She was racing around the biology department at Kent State University, preparing to teach a class that she was just informed she was supposed to teach. Little has changed since then. She's still as motivated & ambitious as ever and she's still teaching, although the kids are a bit younger and they're called Max and Jackie!

Laura's sense of humor also hasn't changed, or if it has, it's just gotten better with time. In this picture (taken at Tao, NYC) she's holding a black scarf, which became known as the "snake", because it kept rolling into a tight coil, slithering around her neck and falling off. Instead of letting it bug her, Laura made that silly little scarf something we'll always remember and laugh about, just like Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City) can base an episode on a single post-it note!

What do I miss about Laura? Well, the toughest part is knowing where to begin! The roots run deep with this soul sister, that's for sure. We both survived graduate school and landed first jobs, although for Laura there were second, third, fourth and fifth jobs, too. She's the most diversified friend I know! We also both survived being bridesmaids in each others' weddings (whew!), and we've both made it past the 7 year itch - hooray! We're both born-again birders and I'm thinking we'd make a great team for a BIG YEAR (year-long birding competition) once the kids are all grown-up! I'll cover Europe & Africa if you can manage North & South America, Laura. The rest will be a snap. What do you think, mate? Lately, we're both exploring ways to express our creative nature, which gives us yet another way to grow new synapses. Our adventure in NYC was hopefully the first of many retreats to come! And lastly, above all else, there's family ... which, whenever we get together, it's like we're ONE.

But I'd have to say INSPIRATION is the thing I miss the most. Laura has energy (just see her blog http://transition2ny.blogspot.com ), ideas that she's willing to share, and gumption! ... is the psychic gasoline that keeps the whole thing going - Robert Pirsig. A teatime chat with her is like receiving a precious gift. May we have tea again soon, my friend. You're beautiful!

Mimi turns 90!

Here's my grandma Mimi (in yellow) with my mother (red) and her two sisters in Key West, Florida, celebrating Mimi's 90th birthday - in casual style! They stayed at a bed-n-breakfast and visited all the sites, including Hemingway's home and the Audubon house.

On previous occasions, Mimi and her "girls", as she calls them, vacationed in England and Bermuda, but this time they headed for the sun and surf. There's no doubt that Mimi's longevity is influenced by her healthy lifestyle (she's been doing tai chi forever), spunky personality and good genes! We'll be visiting Mimi in April, along with grandma Phoebe, who turns 100, and look forward to seeing if they can blow out their candles!

Sometimes you don't realize how good life is until you move away. That's the way it was for Alex and her closest friends, Sara and Cailin. They lived next door and were always over wanting to play. Life couldn't get any better.

That is, until sleepovers (every girls dream!), which they had plenty of. Alex will miss Cailin's spa-jama party this weekend, but I know she'd love to be there. Eat an extra piece of cake for Alex, will you please? Happy Birthday Cailin! 

jackie's competition

A stone's throw from our house lived Phoebe's closest friends - Grace, Sydney and Tres (aka Romeo). Tres would stand at the edge of our yard and call for Phoebe to come out and play. If he felt gutsy enough, he'd come to our patio and continue serenading Phoebe. Even after we moved away, Tres continued to come into our yard, apparently hoping Phoebe would come out to play, like a bird that's lost its mate.

It just goes to show that moving is hardest on those that remain behind. One of these days we look forward to a happy reunion. Don't give up on Phoebe, Tres! 

wedding!

Phoebe + Jackie - summer 2030 - destination tba 

missing boy friends

There are the leaves again (those LEAVES!), and playing in them are four little kids that were destined to grow up together and be the bestest buddies of all time (with Phoebe betrothed to Jackie, and Alex breaking Max's heart), except that their parents had to ruin it all. First we moved to Belgium, and now Laura and Paul are moving to New York.

Some things will never change though, like Phoebe being betrothed to Jackie, and Thijs asking to play with Max and Jackie as often as he asks for a peanut butter-n-jelly sandwich, which he'd eat three times a day if he could. 

There's nothing better than Handel's ice cream

The original Handel's ice cream was just blocks from our home in Boardman, Ohio and were we ever regulars. There's nothing like Handel's to cure the winter blues. The long lines were 4-season, rain or shine. Handel's - we miss you! 

Trading families

Here we are in Switzerland - sledding and snowshoeing with Oma and Opa Verschuuren! We spent the xmas holiday together and enjoyed the most beautiful snow we've seen in a long time. It was great to play in the snow every day or just look at it through the window - we couldn't get enough. Also, it was wonderful to spend time with Els and Harry in their home near Zurich, something we hadn't done since 1997!
After spending 18 years in the U.S., Stijn and I both agreed it was time to reconnect with his side of the family. Two of Stijn's 3 siblings have children (3 nieces, 1 nephew) that are close in age to ours. Now they enjoy each others company and love playing together, but if we waited much longer, that might not be the case. Plus, our kids are young enough to learn new languages easily, so the timing seemed right.

Being closer to Stijn's family, however, meant being farther away from mine, and I knew it would not be easy. I also have 3 siblings with children (7), two of which are goddaughters of ours. When they all get together for the holidays or a reunion, it makes it that much harder. But thank goodness for technology, because it melts away the distance and brings you home again, even if it's just for a moment.

So come on family - skype is just a download + headset away! Can we do it - YES we can!

A photo at last!

This was our home in Ohio - isn't it beautiful? And aren't the leaves even more beautiful! I'm still trying to get photos on my posts (normal photo icon not working, for some reason), but I really worked the system to get this photo and I hope it works!

One of my fondest memories of Fall in Ohio was the annual leaf cleanup. Athough it was a chore, the kids would quickly turn it into a game, and their fun and laughter made the work seem easier although it would tend to take 3-4 times longer, of course.

As funny as it sounds, I will always love the smell of rotting leaves!

What we left behind - part II

Controlled Chaos

That's how I used to think of our household and lifestyle before we moved, with no less than two full-time jobs (one 120 min. commute), three autos (sport, SUV, minivan), three kids, an aupair, a dog, a big house, an even bigger garden that could use a full-time gardener, kids activities, house cleaners, lawn care maintenance, exterminators, chimney sweepers (for the 4 fireplaces!), painters, and the list goes on and on ...

Our life was like a well-oiled machine, and when everything was working it was fine. No, it was awesome. What a high it was to think that we could have it all - a satisfying job, beautiful family, a healthy household. We were a SUPERfamily! Like the INCREDIBLES!

But it seemed like CHAOS would strike whenever my husband travelled (30% of the time) or one of the kids fell ill, or worse me. All of a sudden I'd realize I'm not superwoman after all, or better yet, elastigirl! It was like life was spinning out of control ....

There were too many things to manage, and I was losing my mind ... like the feeling you get when you drink too many delirium tremens (which has been around since 1654 so it's got to be good!). It was time to rethink our strategy, and a significant reduction in managerial processing was definitely in order.

Hence, the move to Belgium and the chance to start anew, with no more than 1 full-time job (short 20 min. commute), 2 autos (diesel corolla, volvo SUV), still 3 kids (thankfully), no aupair (which the kids miss, by the way), no pets, a modest villa (although big by european standards), and that's it! WHEW!

Can I finish my delirium tremens #2 now?

What we left behind

I'm borrowing my friend Laura's idea (http://transition2ny.blogspot.com) of acknowledging what you leave behind when you move away from everything you love and know. It's not only good therapy, but in our case, it's particularly relevant since we're interested in sorting out whether we've simplified our lifestyle as a result of migrating across the big puddle. The question that remains is where do you begin? And how far do you take it?

Well, this story will sound a bit like a fairytale. Once upon a time, the Verschuuren family lived in a charming historic home in the Forest Glen Estates, an Historic District on the National Register of Historic Places. It was a beautiful home, with 2 stories and finished basement, bird-friendly landscaping (lucky me!), kids on either side to play with (best friends as it turns out), and plenty of space to play hide-n-seek. Courtenay could watch birds next door in Mill Creek Metropark and Stijn could run and fertilize the lawn, much to Courtenay's chagrin. But life was perfect, or as close to perfect as many would think.

I'm not going to knock historic homes or districts, or anything like that. I admit that I loved living in the Forest Glen while it lasted (4 y). The residents all shared a similar passion for restoring and preserving historic places, and that alone is something I admire and value highly. I also made some great friends, who share my interest in good food and conversation, among other things, and was very sad when it came time for us to leave (I miss you Rochelle, Kelley, Coleen!).

However, the thing I struggled with most about living in our big home was the attitude of my children, particularly my oldest daughter. For instance, it happened more than once that after playing with friends at their homes, she came home and told me that their home wasn't as big. I know kids will compare possessions, but this didn't seem a healthy comparison to make. She was beginning to feel privileged (which she most definitely is) but I didn't want her growing up "feeling" privileged or spoiled.

Hence, one of the reasons to downsize. Now we live in a more modest home with one fireplace - not four, and one kitchen - not two. The kids don't talk about the size of our home anymore and they seem perfectly content. We have the space that we need - it just gets dirtier quicker! Will this downsizing have a lifetime effect on the attitudes of our children? Only time will tell ... but I sure hope it does.